"Welcome to the degeneration of my mind."
"I’m assembling a giant teacup."
‒Hank Green (via hankgreenoutofcontext)
"Out of my way, orphans!"
"I love this elephant, it sounds kind of like Zoidberg speaking Korean."
"So when you kill that poop-shooting Nintendo with your wind-turbine, that is actually my voice screaming, “Holy giraffe sex!”"
"And finally, a note about beaver butts. They smell delightful."
"The infernal day star is shining its radiation down upon us, I can feel it giving me cancer."
"You will die. Your feet will fall off of your body, they will be removed from your body."
"You will never touch as many strangers as you will today."
"I’m gonna kill everybody in the room."
"I want to watch a movie where Pizza John merchandise comes to life and if you let it eat pizza it turns evil and destroys things and re-programs traffic lights and stuff."